Forgiveness

The Tao Of Forgiveness

One day, the sage gave the disciple an empty sack and a basket of
potatoes. "Think of all the people who have done or said something
against you in the recent past, especially those you cannot forgive.
For each of them, inscribe the name on a potato and put it in the
sack."

The disciple came up quite a few names, and soon his sack was heavy
with potatoes.

"Carry the sack with you wherever you go for a week," said the
sage. "We'll talk after that."

At first, the disciple thought nothing of it. Carrying the sack was
not particularly difficult. But after a while, it became more of a
burden. It sometimes got in the way, and it seemed to require more
effort to carry as time went on, even though its weight remained the
same.

After a few days, the sack began to smell. The carved potatoes gave
off a ripe odor. Not only were they increasingly inconvenient to
carry around, they were also becoming rather unpleasant.

Finally, the week was over. The sage summoned the disciple. "Any
thoughts about all this?"

"Yes, Master," the disciple replied. "When we are unable to forgive
others, we carry negative feelings with us everywhere, much like
these potatoes. That negativity becomes a burden to us and, after a
while, it festers."

"Yes, that is exactly what happens when one holds a grudge. So, how
can we lighten the load?"

"We must strive to forgive."

"Forgiving someone is the equivalent of removing the corresponding
potato from the sack. How many of your transgressors are you able to
forgive?"

"I've thought about it quite a bit, Master," the disciple said. "It
required much effort, but I have decided to forgive all of them."

"Very well, we can remove all the potatoes. Were there any more
people who transgressed against you this last week?"

The disciple thought for a while and admitted there were. Then he
felt panic when he realized his empty sack was about to get filled
up again.

"Master," he asked, "if we continue like this, wouldn't there always
be potatoes in the sack week after week?"

"Yes, as long as people speak or act against you in some way, you
will always have potatoes."

"But Master, we can never control what others do. So what good is
the Tao in this case?"

"We're not at the realm of the Tao yet. Everything we have talked
about so far is the conventional approach to forgiveness. It is the
same thing that many philosophies and most religions preach - we
must constantly strive to forgive, for it is an important virtue.
This is not the Tao because there is no striving in the Tao."

"Then what is the Tao, Master?"

"You can figure it out. If the potatoes are negative feelings, then
what is the sack?"

"The sack is... that which allows me to hold on to the negativity.
It is something within us that makes us dwell on feeling
offended.... Ah, it is my inflated sense of self-importance. "

"And what will happen if you let go of it?"

"Then... the things that people do or say against me no longer seem
like such a major issue."

"In that case, you won't have any names to inscribe on potatoes.
That means no more weight to carry around, and no more bad smells.
The Tao of forgiveness is the conscious decision to not just to
remove some potatoes... but to relinquish the entire sack."

Source: http://www.taoism.net/